When Your Body Grieves: Somatic Symptoms No One Talks About
Most people expect grief to show up emotionally—sadness, numbness, shock, anger. What many don’t expect is how powerfully grief shows up in the body.
Losing someone you love is an intensely stressful and destabilizing experience. And according to the National Institutes of Health, grief can create real, measurable physical changes: pain, inflammation, gut issues, immune system shifts, fatigue, and even temporary heart symptoms. None of this means something is “wrong” with you. It means your body is reacting exactly the way human bodies have evolved to respond to loss.
In this blog, we’ll explore why grief affects the body so deeply, the physical symptoms no one talks about, and how to support yourself while you navigate them.
Why the Body Reacts to Loss: An Evolutionary Stress Response
Humans are biologically wired to rely on close relationships for safety, regulation, and survival. Throughout evolution, being connected to others increased our chances of protection, shared resources, and emotional stability. Losing someone we depended on—emotionally or physically—was interpreted by the nervous system as a potential threat to survival.
When a major bond is severed, the body reacts as if danger has suddenly increased in the environment.
From a biological standpoint, here’s what tends to happen:
The nervous system goes on high alert, scanning for potential threats.
The immune system increases inflammatory activity, preparing the body to heal potential injury—an ancient survival instinct meant to protect us during periods of vulnerability.
Meanwhile, the body temporarily reduces antiviral defenses, redirecting energy toward immediate survival priorities. This is why people often get sick shortly after a major loss.
These shifts can create symptoms like fatigue, body aches, social withdrawal, and increased sensitivity to pain.
This evolutionary response was helpful when physical danger often accompanied social disconnection. But in modern grief, these same responses can feel confusing and overwhelming. When inflammation and nervous system activation remain high for long periods of time—especially after traumatic or unexpected loss—both physical and emotional symptoms can become more persistent.
Understanding that these reactions are biological and protective can help normalize the physical experience of grief and reduce the shame or confusion many people feel when their bodies seem to fall apart after a loss.
How Grief Shows Up in the Body
Grief touches nearly every physical system. Here are some of the most common but least talked-about somatic experiences.
1. Appetite Changes
Grief can create either:
Loss of appetite, or
Compulsive or comfort eating
Some people swing between both.
Both responses come from the body trying to regulate stress and energy. But appetite loss or overeating can lead to:
Energy crashes
Weakness
Weight changes
Blood sugar instability
What can help:
Create a simple meal plan with predictable times and small, manageable foods. Think of it as giving your body the fuel it needs to withstand a physically demanding emotional process.
2. Chest Tightness + Heart Symptoms
Many people describe grief as feeling “heartbroken”—and there’s a real physiological basis for this.
Chest pressure, throat tightness, and heart palpitations are all part of the autonomic nervous system reacting to intense stress.
In some cases, extreme stress can lead to takotsubo cardiomyopathy, often called broken heart syndrome. Symptoms mimic a heart attack:
Chest pain
Shortness of breath
Cold sweats
Fatigue
Dizziness
EKGs may even show abnormalities. Unlike a heart attack, coronary arteries appear clear—but the condition is still serious and needs medical attention.
Most people recover within two months, but complications can occur. Always seek immediate medical care if you experience sudden or severe chest symptoms.
3. Fatigue and Exhaustion
Grief-related fatigue is not just “being tired.” It can feel like a deep, whole-body depletion.
There are several reasons:
The stress response floods the body the same way it would during danger.
Muscles tighten and energy mobilizes for survival.
Sleep becomes disrupted.
Mental processing overloads the nervous system.
Fatigue can lead to:
Achiness
Depression or anxiety
Difficulty concentrating
Low motivation
Increased stress sensitivity
What can help:
Gentle routines, rest, predictable sleep rhythms if possible, and—if needed—evaluation by a sleep therapist or primary care provider.
Inflammation, Pain, and the Gut: The Hidden Side of Grief
Inflammation plays a central role in the physical pain many grieving people feel.
Your immune cells release cytokines, signaling molecules that:
Increase pain sensitivity
Coordinate inflammatory responses
Alter mood and energy
This is why some people feel body aches, headaches, or worsening chronic pain after a loss.
Grief also affects the gut microbiome. Chronic stress increases gut permeability (“leaky gut”), allowing bacteria to move outside the gastrointestinal tract, which triggers more inflammation. This can cause:
Stomach pain
Nausea
Constipation or diarrhea
Appetite disruption
Immune dysregulation
These physical changes are not imagined—they are biological.
Grief Can Make You Sick (And That Doesn’t Mean You’re Doing Anything Wrong)
From inflammation to heart symptoms to gut changes, grief is a whole-body experience. Understanding this can relieve shame and help you recognize that your symptoms are not failures—they are responses to profound loss.
How to Support Your Body While Grieving
There is no quick fix for grief, but you can support yourself with compassionate, steady care.
Eat small, regular meals even if your appetite is low.
Prioritize rest, not productivity.
Limit overstimulation when possible.
Engage in gentle movement like walking or stretching.
Seek medical evaluation for persistent chest pain, intense fatigue, or appetite changes.
Work with a therapist to help regulate emotional and somatic stress responses.
A licensed mental health professional can help you navigate both the emotional and physical components of grief, especially when symptoms are overwhelming or interfering with daily life.
Your body is responding to loss in the only way it knows how: by trying to keep you safe. Grief is not just emotional. It is biological, physical, and deeply human. All the systems in the body are working together to manage the stressor of grief. Sometimes that means shutting down for awhile. Sometimes that means feeling everything and sometimes that means feeling nothing. Riding of the waves of grief is an unsteady and uncertain process. But rest assured your body is trying it’s best to assist you through it.
If you recognize yourself in any of these symptoms, know this: You are not failing. You are grieving—and your body is grieving with you.